At my last physical, everything checked out okay except for my blood pressure. It’s been going up each year for the last couple of years and has finally reached that borderline, you need to keep an eye on it stage – not so bad that I need medication, but bad enough that my doctor suggested I change my diet, try to get more sleep, and buy a blood pressure monitor to make sure that the problem doesn’t progress.

I was a bit startled at the numbers, actually. Five years ago, I was regularly clocking 115/70 with no problem, and I was fifteen pounds heavier and still smoked back then. I first noticed my BP rising last summer when I went in after I tore my rotator cuff doing my second round of P90X (that’s right bitches – my second round). It was up to about 130/85 – not terrible but not great. The nurse practitioner didn’t even mention any issues with it.

So this spring, when I’m up to 140/90, I’m shocked. I ask the nurse to try again. And when I question the numbers a second time, she humors me by taking it on my other arm. When the doc comes in she says that the blood pressure is a problem. “Didn’t your father have heart problems?” she asks, looking at my chart and already knowing the answer to that.

“He had a lot of health issues,” I tell her.

“We should keep an eye on this. You’re not getting any younger.”

“I’m in pretty good shape,” I say. “I work out five or six times a week.”

“Well you’re still overweight,” she says. “According to the weight chart, your BMI is in the upper twenties.”

“The last time I checked, my body fat was about 18%,” I protested. “I have calipers!”

She didn’t seem impressed.

“And I’ve been riding the bike a lot, so my legs are getting huge. It’s the biggest muscle in your body, you know,” I added, not really knowing if it was true, but hoping that my wife was right about it.

It’s really too bad that she didn’t wasn’t there in August when I tore my rotator cuff. I was a good ten pounds lighter, and had been working the abs pretty hard too. For about two weeks last summer I was in the best shape of my life – even better than when I played college baseball back in the ’80s (probably because I drank more beer and ate fast food back then).

The doctor senses that I’m starting to get worked up over all of this. “Let’s try it again,” she said to me, wrapping the cuff back around my arm. Good, I think to myself, finally I’m getting a professional to take my blood pressure.

 “158/95″ she says, shaking her head. “See, you’re getting all worked up and that isn’t helping.” My doctor is apparently much smarter than me.

After leaving her office, On the way home from her office I stopped at Wal-Mart and bought a blood pressure monitor. When I got home, I investigated the sodium content of what I had thought was a healthy diet (turkey bacon, egg substitutes, cottage cheese, yogurt, fresh fruits, vegetables, lean meats). I realized that although I was keeping my calorie count low, I was also consuming almost triple the recommended daily sodium allowance. So I kept a food diary and limited my intake, while at the same time checking my blood pressure three times a day. Within a month, I was back into the normal range.

Now I’m stuck with a $70 blood pressure monitor and wondering how I might be able to re-purpose it. When I was taking my BP regularly for that month, I would always take three readings and average them. It became a game for me to try to guess what each reading would be. I actually looked forward to playing the game and sometimes would take five or six readings just for fun.

So, next week I’m going to invite my friends over for a “blood pressure party.” Every half-hour, each person has to guess their own blood pressure and if they’re not within 3 points of either number, they have to take a shot. Perhaps I can even parlay this into some cash by handicapping who will have the highest and lowest scores. If this catches on, it could be the rage of college campuses next fall. Maybe I could even leverage the idea into a new business venture. I could create an iPhone app to track scores, or maybe set up a social networking site so that people could host online tournaments, pitting college campuses against one another. I could get sponsorship money from BP monitor manufacturers and liquor companies. I could be the next Mark Zuckerberg!

135/86.

My blood pressure is already rising with just the thought of all the money and celebrity that’s coming my way. I guess I’d better cancel the party.